


i'm here to wipe your eyes

by GeekLover



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Banter, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-02
Updated: 2013-09-02
Packaged: 2017-12-25 08:57:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/951174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeekLover/pseuds/GeekLover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the future when they talk about how they fell in love, they’re not going to mention that started over a box of Cheez-It’s</p>
            </blockquote>





	i'm here to wipe your eyes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [quietude_et_douceur](https://archiveofourown.org/users/quietude_et_douceur/gifts).



> Thanks to the mods at merlinmpreg for their patience. I hope go_fishboys enjoys what I did with the prompt even though I didn’t include all of the pairings mentioned. Title taken from the Maroon 5 song “Wipe Your Eyes.”

As Arthur struggled to reach the box of Cheez-It’s on the top shelf he didn’t know who he was more furious with - the daft store for packing everything so high or his own body and his ridiculously, expanded belly. He knew that he might be able to maneuver to a closer position if his belly wasn’t in the way. Unfortunately, he was pregnant and there wasn’t anything to do about his stomach, at least not for another three months.

He refused to give up, or ask for any assistance, he hadn’t seen anyone who worked at the store for several minutes anyway, and he refused to waddle away empty-handed. He turned to the side and stretched a little bit further and the last red box of crackers was almost within his grasp...and then suddenly someone else had snatched it away from him.

“Oi!” He said as he turned around to see the Cheez-It thief. Arthur was a bit startled to see the offending party was another pregnant man, though his stomach was not nearly as round. The brunette with the big ears and protruding belly had a self-satisfied smirk on his face. Arthur glared at the man. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Procuring my favorite American snack. What does it look like I’m doing?” The man said as he dropped the box in his red basket.

“Yes, but that’s the last box and I was here first. I’ve been trying to reach that for the last five minutes.” Arthur grumbled. Besides seemingly being the last of its kind in the store, this little out of the way newsagent was the only place Arthur could find near him that sold the cheesy treat.

“I’m sorry about that. But it’s not my fault that you’re so…” The man, who didn’t seem to be able to wipe the grin off his face, gestured vaguely with his hand. “Rotund. You look like you’re ready to deliver any second now. Perhaps you should be at home instead of trying to buy snack foods that you clearly don’t need.” The stranger shot him a toothy grin. “Cheers.”

Arthur’s mouth fell open and he barely had time to react as the rude man side-stepped him and began to walk away. Arthur sputtered for a few seconds, but then snatched up his basket and shuffled after him as quickly as he could. He was breathless by the time he caught up to the remorseless cracker thief. He held up his hand, and ignored how other patrons of the store stared at the two men. “Wait! How dare you lecture me about what I do, or do not, choose to eat! It’s none of your business.” 

Arthur continued to be incensed at how the man looked at him as if he was just some nuisance that he had to tolerate and his grin was insufferable.

“I’m sorry. I was just trying to be helpful. I thought you of all people would appreciate that.”

Arthur ran his hands through his hair and stared at Merlin in confusion. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

The man crossed his arms in front of his chest and lightly rested them atop his belly. “You don’t recognize me do you?”

Arthur shook his head. It was his turn to smirk at the stranger. “I assure if I’d met you before I would know it. Those ears are pretty unforgettable. I assume you were pulled out from the womb ears first.”

“Ha ha. I’ve never heard that one before.” He deadpanned. “I’m not surprised you don’t remember. You acted like you were the only one in the room tonight.”

Arthur’s brow furrowed for a brief moment before he finally figured it out. “You were at the antenatal class tonight.”

The man nodded. “That’s right. Though it wasn’t much of a class with you taking over and correcting everything the instructor had to say. Or correction _attempted_ to say as you barely let her get in a word.”

Arthur threw up his hands. “That’s not my fault. I came to the class to learn, but apparently anyone can walk off the street and teach one of those classes. I knew more than she did. ‘Use a heating pad if you have a backache.’ Really? I didn’t know that.” He said with heavy sarcasm. “Please, tell me something that I can’t look up for myself on-line.”

“How could I forget I was in the presence of the pregnancy expert? You didn’t even give her a chance.” The stranger argued. He shifted the basket from one arm to the other and rubbed absently at his stomach. 

Arthur could tell he was starting to feel uncomfortable and Arthur would love to get off his feet as well but he refused to back down from the argument. “I didn’t feel like I needed to. She was uninformed and she was prejudiced. It didn’t seem as if she was comfortable having men in the class. Everything she said was directed at women.”

The man rolled his eyes. “Look I know the instructor. Freya is a good person. She wasn’t deliberately trying to leave anyone out. Women have been giving birth for centuries. It’s going to take more than a few years to get used to the idea of men being able to do it as well.”

“Yes, well men can give birth and I paid good money for this class, and not so I could feel excluded. I’m sorry if that hurt your friend’s feelings.” Arthur said defensively. He was a little prickly when it came to the subject. He wasn’t used to people looking at him as if he was a freak and it put him more than a little on edge.

“Yes, well you weren’t the only one paying for the class. They were other people in that room that were excited and looking forward to learning something and bonding with other parents. And you ruined that for them.” He picked up the box of Cheez-It’s. “So if I can ruin something you, it seems more than fair to me. Goodnight.”

Arthur sighed as the man walked off again. If anyone asked he would blame it on the hormones but Arthur did feel a little guilty. He hadn’t meant to ruin things for the other people at the class. Truth be told, he was in a bit of the mood at the start of the class and probably was far harsher to the instructor than he should have been. 

He didn’t know why the thought of this impudent stranger having negative thoughts about him upset him, but he did. He caught up to the man at the queue. He cleared his throat. The man threw him a brief glance over his shoulder, and then quickly faced forward. 

“Look, I may have been a little too harsh with your friend tonight. I probably should have given her a chance and kept some of my opinions to myself.” He explained.

The short, older woman in front of Merlin moved ahead and Merlin followed closely behind her. He looked back at Arthur. “Is that it? I think you missed two important words there.”

Arthur sighed heavily. “I am...sorry. I didn’t mean to take out my issues on everyone else.”

The man didn’t say anything. He took the Cheez-It’s out of his basket and, without a word, handed them to Arthur from over his shoulder.

Arthur took the item gratefully. “Thank you.”

The man turned to him with a grin. “I have more at home.”

After they both paid for their items, Arthur was surprised to see the man stood just outside the door. He smiled when he saw Arthur. “I thought I should properly introduce myself after taking your head off. “I’m Merlin.” He held out his hand.

Arthur gripped his offered hand in a firm handshake. “Arthur.”

Merlin sighed. “I’m sorry about earlier. I think the pregnancy has made me a little more combative than normal.”

Arthur waved off his apology. “You have nothing to be sorry for. You had a point. People don’t usually get under my skin like that. I suppose the pregnancy is making me a bit softer.”

Merlin nodded towards a few benches at the side of the store. “Do you want to sit? My feet are killing me?”

“Mine, too.” They walked over and Arthur sat down gingerly. When he looked up, he spotted Merlin looking at his belly. “What?”

“How far along are you?” Merlin chuckled lightly. “You really do look as if you’re about to burst any moment.”

Arthur caressed his belly a little self-consciously. “I’m six months.”

Merlin’s eyes widened comically. 

“The doctor says it’s not that abnormal.” Arthur replied defensively. “He even said I could get bigger.”

“Bigger?” Merlin exclaimed. “If you get any bigger, you can rent out your belly for advertisements.”

“Shut up!” Arthur said. He should be offended, but he couldn’t help the small smile on his face. 

“I’m sorry but are you giving birth in a hospital or a big box under the stairs.”

Arthur threw back his head and couldn’t help the loud cackle that erupted from deep within his throat. He had to wipe tears from his eyes when he finished. He couldn’t remember the last time he laughed that hard. When he looked back at Merlin, he had a matching smile on his face. It wasn’t the same insufferable smirk as before. This one Arthur could admit was actually cute.

“Excuse me for being a bit nosy, but why were you so upset tonight? Was it just Cheez-It withdrawal?” Merlin hesitantly asked, his smile faltered a little.

Arthur sighed and fidgeted. “No, it wasn’t that. I just was a bit disappointed. My boyfriend was supposed to be with me at the class tonight, but he couldn’t make it.”

Arthur was grateful that Merlin didn’t give him a pitying look. He just nodded briefly. “Sorry about that. Is your boyfriend the baby’s father - I mean the other father?”

“Yes. He’s working right now, so it isn’t as if he buggered off to do something frivolous.” He frowned. “Though knowing Gwaine that wouldn’t be too out of the realm of possibility.”

As he wiped nervous hands down his thighs, Arthur peered up at Merlin. His eyes were warm and he had a patient expression. 

“What kind of work does he do?”

“He’s a location scout - works in film and television. It’s the perfect job for him. He gets to travel and meet a lot of interesting people. Gwaine’s never been one to settle down for too long. He tries to be here as much as he can, but…” Arthur looked away and gazed behind him at a young couple that exited the store. Arthur wasn’t sure why he had said what he had about Gwaine. He usually wasn’t so open, even with people he had known for years. When he looked back at Merlin, he tried to change the subject. He cleared his throat. “Who was that man with you tonight? Was that the baby’s father?”

Merlin smiled. “Yes.”

Arthur felt a little something tug at him with Merlin’s smile but he didn’t examine it too closely. “That’s nice - that you weren’t alone. Why isn’t he here instead? He should be taking care of you?”

Merlin shrugged. “It’s alright. He’s probably taking care of his wife right now.”

Arthur’s mouth fell open and he tried to close his mouth and form words but he was too taken aback by Merlin’s statement and even more surprised by Merlin’s laughter.

“After I have the baby, I’m really going to miss people reacting like that.” He picked up a box of crisps and tore open the package. He offered one to Arthur.

Arthur shook his head. “You’re having a baby with a married man?”

“Actually, I’m having a baby _for_ a married man. Sort of an important distinction.” Merlin said as he crunched noisily on the crisps.

“I’m not sure I understand.” A confused Arthur replied.

“I’m a surrogate. My best friends Lance and Gwen are married, but they can’t have a baby the natural way. So I offered to carry their baby for them.” Merlin said calmly. It was clear that Merlin had offered this explanation numerous times. It was almost as if he was reading from a script. 

Unconsciously, Arthur’s hand went to his stomach as he thought about his child that grew inside of him. While he was more than a bit shocked when he had found out he was pregnant, he had slowly started to adjust and loved his child more than he ever could have imagined. But the process of being pregnant was not something he was prepared for and it took his toll on him mentally and physically. He couldn’t imagine going through all of this and, for all intents and purposes, not have anything to show for it. His respect for Merlin increased exponentially. “That’s amazing, Merlin.”

Merlin’s cheeks reddened and he waved off Arthur’s praise. “It’s not like I had any plans for the past six months.”

“So you’re humble as well as generous. You’re making it a lot harder to hate you.” Arthur teased.

“Like you could really hate this.” He gestured to his face. “I’ve been told I have a very unhateable face, so you were facing an uphill battle anyway.”

Arthur felt so odd. He’d never felt so awkward and yet at the same time so at ease with another person. “It makes me feel like an even bigger arse for ruining the class tonight for you.”

Merlin looked down and twisted his hands, for the first time that night he seemed nervous. “You didn’t really ruin it for me. I wasn’t really looking forward to the class.”

“Why not?”

“It’s not really for me. I know that I’m the one who’s pregnant, but the class is more for Lancelot and Gwen. It’s just I’m having a C-Section so I don’t really need pointers about delivering a baby. And I’m not one of the parents, so...I don’t really need to know how to be one.” His voice sounded strained. “I’m just kind of going along for the ride, taking notes when Lance and Gwen can’t be there.”

Merlin fiddled with the package of crisps and when he offered one to Arthur, he took one. He nibbled on it slowly. “It’s sort of the same thing for me. I have all the books and am always on-line looking things up-”

“Which you mentioned several times tonight.” Merlin said with none of the heat from before.

Arthur nodded. “Right. Well, I think that I’m prepared as well as I can be, but my father is really anxious. He’s been driving me around the bend constantly checking up on me. To think there was a time when I was younger that I would have craved this kind of attention, but now it’s aggravating and taking this class is putting his mind at ease...at least a bit.”

“A doting grandfather. Sounds like my mother. She’s been trying to keep her mother hen instincts down, but she really can’t help herself. Thankfully for me, she lives a couple of hours away.” Merlin suddenly giggled.

“The baby kicking?” Arthur asked with a knowing smile.

“Yeah. I should be used to it by now, but it’s still so odd. Sometimes I think the baby’s trying to tell me something, most of the time I think it’s just being a cheeky little bugger.”

Arthur laughed as he caressed his large stomach. He felt like he was lucky in that his baby had been fairly quiet all night, though he felt a flutter on occasion, which was nice and reassured him that everything was alright.

Merlin looked down at his watch. “I think this time it’s trying to tell me that I should probably get home. It’s late.”

A strong feeling of disappointment overwhelmed Arthur. “Yeah,” he stood up slowly. “I should be going home as well.”

“I have a box of Cheez-It’s and whipped cream calling my name.” Merlin added with a grin.

“You don’t combine the two, do you?” Arthur asked curiously.

Merlin scrunched up his nose. “Yeah, everyone thinks it’s weird. _I_ think it’s weird. But you know the cliche about weird pregnancy craving are actually true.”

Merlin seemed startled when Arthur threw his head back with a boisterous laugh. He was still laughing when he started to try and explain. “I’m sorry; I’m not laughing at you. It’s just I do the same thing. Well, not exactly the same thing.” He leaned down - with some difficulty - and rummaged through his grocery bag and pulled out a carton of chocolate ice cream.”

Merlin looked from the ice cream to Arthur and back again. “You eat Cheez-It’s and chocolate ice cream… _together_?”

“Yes. I take the cracker and dip it in the ice cream and eat it.” Arthur looked sheepish as he explained.

Even though he knew it was crazy, Merlin gave him a smile filled him with so much warmth, Arthur swore he could feel it.

“It’s nice to know someone else with tastes that are a bit dodgy.” Merlin got up slowly. “I’ll see you at the next antenatal class, yeah?”

Arthur nodded. “Yeah. And I promise I’ll keep my gob shut.”

Merlin chuckled as he began to shuffle away leisurely. “Good.” 

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Arthur.”

As Merlin rounded the corner out of Arthur’s view, he felt the baby start to kick. He wondered what the baby was trying to tell him now. 

 

~*~

 

Over the next few weeks, Arthur was amazed at how seamlessly Merlin worked his way into his life. It was a gradual process. At first they only talked for a few minutes before and after class. Lancelot and/or Gwen were always there with Merlin while Gwaine only managed to make it to one class.

Whenever Arthur was alone, Merlin made sure to sit beside Arthur and keep him company. He hadn’t spoken too often to Lancelot or Gwen, he really only had eyes for Merlin, but whenever they did speak he could see why Merlin cared so much about them to volunteer for such a monumental sacrifice. Lancelot was a doctor and Gwen was a nurse, and while their schedules were busy, they tried to be there for Merlin as much as they could. They were sweet and kind-hearted people and just to see the way they talked to Merlin; it was clear the kind of bond they shared. 

The first time neither Lance nor Gwen could make the class, Arthur and Merlin went down to a local pub and just sat and talked all night, mostly about their childhoods. The next time they were both alone Arthur invited Merlin back to his flat so they could both indulge in their weird cravings. Arthur tried having his crackers with the whip cream, and while it didn’t taste very different than with the ice cream, he still preferred it his way. Merlin seemed to agree after he tried the chocolate ice cream.

Arthur had invited Merlin to sit on his large, plush cream colored couch in the den, but Merlin kept getting up and began to pace. While Merlin’s stomach wasn’t quite as large as Arthur’s - which did continue to grow - he had grown significantly since the first time they met. It was as if a large basketball was stuffed under his shirt. 

Merlin took in a few deep gulps of air. “I can’t get comfortable. I swear it’s like going through puberty every day. My body won’t stop growing and no matter what I eat, it feels as if I’ve overeaten and something is always weighing on my chest. I’m doing everything Freya said to do but the swollen ankles won’t go away.”

If anyone could relate to Merlin’s frustration, it was Arthur. He didn’t have to deal with the irritation of swollen ankles, but he did wonder in the mornings, as he stared at his puffy face, if someone had punched him in the face repeatedly while he slept and he just wasn’t aware of it. 

“I have a pool.”

“Yes, you’re very wealthy Arthur. I’m aware of that.” Merlin gritted out.

Arthur rolled his eyes. “I’m not bragging you bloody fool. I read that swimming can help with swollen ankles.”

“Even if I didn’t currently look like I could make a killing in Japan, I can’t swim.” Merlin said as he stopped pacing and sat down on Arthur’s couch. 

“Just standing in it can help.” Arthur stood up and held out his hand. “I promise I won’t let anything happen to you.”

Merlin eyed his hand warily, before he gripped it tightly and let Arthur pull him up.

Arthur lent him a pair of swim trunks and while he was extremely hesitant, Merlin soon lowered himself in the shallow end of the pool. They’d been in there for a few minutes and Merlin seemed to finally start to relax.

“How do you feel?” Arthur eyed him carefully.

“My legs have stopped tingling, that’s nice.” Merlin said, though he sounded nervous.

Arthur stood only a few feet away. He waded over to Merlin. “Lift up your leg.”

Merlin’s eyes widened. “I beg your pardon.”

Arthur laughed. “I’m going to massage your legs. Gwaine massages my back when it hurts and it always helps.”

Merlin pursed his lips and stiffened momentarily, before he shrugged and offered his leg to Arthur. He sat down on the pool steps and as soon as Arthur started to knead the swollen flesh of Merlin’s calves, Merlin visibly relaxed. His shoulders were no longer hunched up to his ears and his face didn’t look quite as pinched. Merlin looked around; Arthur wasn’t sure what he looked for. “Where’s your phone?”

Arthur briefly glanced behind him. “I don’t know. Do you need to make a call?”

“No.” Merlin stretched his arms behind him and leaned against them. “I just thought you might be waiting for a call from Gwaine.”

For once Gwaine wasn’t away at work, but was visiting his family in Ireland. “No. Gwaine doesn’t really call to check up on me. He doesn’t believe in “micro-managing” things. It’s kind of nice. Just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean I can’t handle things on my own.”

“Just because you can handle things on your own, doesn’t mean you should have to.” Merlin pointed out. His words were measured, but the way he gripped the edge of the pool steps, Arthur could tell he was agitated.

“If I need someone to be overprotective, I already have my father for that.” Arthur countered. “He’s so excited about his new ‘heir’ he’s here almost every day.”

Merlin bit his tongue. When Arthur started to massage his feet, Merlin let out a brief, but very loud, moan. Merlin reddened all the way to the tips of his ears as Arthur just grinned. He couldn’t deny that the sound didn’t go straight to a certain member of his anatomy. He wanted to chalk it up to the fact that he hadn’t had sex in months and was just incredibly sexually frustrated, but he knew it was more than that. 

He was just glad that Merlin couldn’t see any potential erections. Hell, Arthur wouldn’t even be able to see any potential erections he may have. He was starting to forget what his penis even looked like. Arthur’s hands traveled up further and he started to massage Merlin’s thighs.

Merlin’s breath hitched and he sat up straighter. “You know, I only met Gwaine the one time, but I understand what you see in him.”

“Really?”

“Yes. He’s very handsome and funny and very charming. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Lance laugh harder. Though I don’t think he appreciated Gwaine’s flirting with Gwen.”

Arthur waved that off. “I don’t think Gwaine would know what to do with himself if he weren’t flirting. It doesn’t really mean anything. I’ve seen him flirt with inanimate objects.” Arthur switched over to Merlin’s other leg.

Merlin watched Arthur begin to massage his swollen calf. “Is that how you two got together - random flirting.”

Arthur nodded. He smiled fondly as he thought about Gwaine’s shameless flirting. “We actually started out as friends with benefits.”

Merlin didn’t look surprised. “When did that change?”

Arthur stopped his ministrations and looked down guiltily. He shouldn’t be embarrassed, but he had a feeling about how Merlin would react. “When I got pregnant.” Arthur said softly. He glanced up briefly at Merlin. Merlin didn’t say anything, but one of his eyebrows shot up. Arthur started to talk before he could say anything. “I know what that might sound like. But I didn’t pressure him to change anything. He wanted to. He wants to give this a proper chance.”

“I wasn’t going to say anything.” Merlin assured him.

“You should see him when he’s here. The first thing he does when he sees me as he leans down and he kisses my belly and talks to the baby.” He sighed. “He loves it.”

Merlin looked up and stared into Arthur’s eyes. “And does he love you?”

Sometimes Arthur actually liked how blunt Merlin was. But this wasn’t one of those times. Arthur let go of Merlin’s leg and looked down and tried not to let the wave of emotion knock him down. “I don’t know.” He whispered.

“Arthur…” Merlin ran his fingers gently down Arthur’s shoulder. 

Arthur sucked in a breath and shook off the brief negativity. “We care about each other. And as long as he loves our son, that’s all that matters to me right now.”

Merlin didn’t seem to know what to say and just bobbed his head slightly. But soon a slow smile formed on his face. “You said ‘your son.’ Do you know the sex of the baby?”

Arthur grinned and nodded happily. “Gwaine wants to be surprised but I couldn’t wait any longer. It’s a boy.”

“Arthur!” Merlin leaned over and wrapped his arms around Arthur in a tight embrace. “That’s amazing!”

Arthur held onto Merlin tightly. He couldn’t help thinking, and feeling guilty, that he was glad Merlin was the first to know.

Merlin pulled back slowly and for a brief moment, they both held onto each other’s arms and both breathed in deeply, their breaths mingled together. While it would be slightly awkward, due to the distance their bellies created, it wouldn’t take much effort to lean over for a kiss. 

That thought - and how much he really wanted to - scared him and he tried to think about Gwaine. Instead of Gwaine, he suddenly pictured Lance and soon started to giggle. 

Merlin took a step back and looked at Arthur curiously. 

Arthur covered his mouth as he continued to laugh. A big smile was still on his face as he looked up at Merlin. “Sorry. I just started to think about Gwaine. And then I pictured Lance and I think for some reason it just hit me how much they look alike, with their flowing brown shampoo advertisement hair. And then I pictured our babies being delivered with full heads of hair, and instantly posing as if for one of those horrid romance covers.” He looked away sheepishly, even though he still couldn’t stop the grin plastered to his face.

Merlin started to chortle loudly as well. “Your mind is a very strange place.”

“I know. I’m just thinking very oddly lately.”

“I like it.”

“Really?”

“Being weird is a turn-on for me?”

Arthur grinned wider.

 

~*~

“How are you even human?” Arthur shouted. 

Merlin’s only reply was to laugh louder. 

It was yet another sleepless night for the both of them. They had been having trouble sleeping for a couple of weeks and had started a ritual of calling each other every night until the first one of them fell asleep. Arthur wondered if it was a good idea. He loved talking to Merlin and even when he started to finally get tired, he purposefully stayed up until he could hear Merlin’s snores on the other line.

They hadn’t discussed their almost kiss, though Arthur wasn’t sure if it could even be labeled that, and he was fine with that. It was probably for the best. Tonight, they had started to discuss their favorite movies and Arthur was aghast to learn that not only had Merlin not seen _The Lord of the Rings_ , he hadn’t seen the other two movies in the trilogy.

“I know, I know. It’s supposed to be some sort of sacrilege. I get the same reaction when I tell people I haven’t seen _Star Wars_.

“Oh, who cares about _Star Wars_? I haven’t seen that either. But you have to see _The Lord of the Rings_.” Arthur insisted. “What are you doing now?”

“Arm wrestling my dog. I’m talking to you, what do you think I’m doing?”

Arthur ignored Merlin’s gibe. “Come over.”

“What?”

“Come over. I’m determined to rectify your mistake. We’re going to watch the movie.”

“All three of them?” Merlin exclaimed with no small amount of trepidation.

“We’re start with the first, and see how it goes. But I know you’re going to love it.”

Merlin gave a long, put upon sigh. “Alright. But are we watching the regular version or the extended because I’d like to know if I should pack for one day or an entire week?”

Arthur snickered. “Very funny. Just get your big pregnant arse over here.”

 

~*~

 

Four hours later, they were finally done. Arthur hopped up excitedly to change DVDs.

Merlin rubbed at his eyes tiredly. “We’re not going to watch the second one, are we? I’m knackered.”

“Not right now. But we can watch it later.” Arthur turned to Merlin. “What did you think?”

Merlin tapped his chin. “Not bad.”

“A bit of underwhelming praise, but I’ll take it.” Arthur grinned.

Merlin smiled. “I’ve never seen you so excited about something. Why do you like them so much?”

Arthur sat down next to Merlin. “It’s just a perfect movie and a perfect series. It’s got everything you could want.”

“Except romance.” Merlin mumbled.

“It has romance. Just because it doesn’t have some hackneyed scene of some tosser chasing after some girl at the airport and cornily declaring his love, does not mean it doesn’t have a beautiful love story.”

“What this great love story, then?”

“Between Samwise and Frodo.”

“Really?” Merlin said as he looked Arthur up and down with a look of shock on his face. 

“Yes. You haven’t seen the last two but their relationship just gets better. There’s so much loyalty and devotion between the two of them. When you have someone who is literally willing to carry the other person on their back and stand by them no matter what, that kind of loyalty and devotion is rare.”

Arthur had to avert his eyes as Merlin stared at him with a look of such fondness it almost made him blush.

“That’s really beautiful. Loyalty’s really important to you, isn’t it?”

“Yes.” Arthur nodded. “It’s one of the reasons I admire you so much for what you’re doing.” He reached out tentatively and placed his hand on Merlin’s stomach.

Merlin placed his hand on top of Arthur’s hand. He couldn’t meet Arthur’s eyes and kept looking anywhere but at Arthur. Merlin was never seemed at ease accepting praise, especially when it came to the baby. 

Arthur slowly slid his hand off Merlin’s stomach. 

Merlin gazed up at him. Arthur could sense that he wanted to say something, but was having trouble finding the words, which for Merlin was unusual. Merlin bit his lip before he opened his mouth to speak. “May I ask you something without you biting my head off?”

Arthur took a deep breath. “I can’t make any promises, but I’ll try. Though I must warn you I am hungry.”

“Are you still with Gwaine because you don’t want to leave him because of your need to remain loyal?” Merlin said haltingly.

With anyone else, Arthur might have flown off the handle at that question. But he trusted Merlin and knew that Merlin was trying to look out for him. He thought about it and felt that he owed Merlin an honest response. “Gwaine and I have so much fun together and I do care about him a great deal. I know he’s going to be a good father…”

“But…?” Merlin prodded.

“ _But_ I don’t know if it’s in him to be here day in and day out. I don’t think this is the life that he ever envisioned for himself. He’s a good man and would never abandon us, but I worry that he’s unhappy.”

“Are you unhappy?”

“Not...exactly.” Arthur reached out and gripped Merlin’s hand. “Merlin, I know that you’re worried about me and I appreciate that, but this is what I want. I didn’t get to grow up with my mother, and I know my son won’t have one, but he can be raised in a real home with both of his parents. I want that for my son.”

Merlin closed his eyes. With how tired he was Arthur wondered for a moment if he fell asleep. When he opened his eyes, and his blue eyes stared back at him, Arthur could tell that Merlin wanted to say something, but he soon sighed and he looked away again. He picked at a spot on the couch. “Have you two picked out any names yet?”

Finally on a subject he felt comfortable with, Arthur relaxed. “For some reason, Gwaine seems to be stuck on picking out girl’s names. I’ve offered a few boys’ names, but he hasn’t liked any of them.”

“What were some of the names?”

“Theodore, Benjamin, Charles. He says I’m being too traditional.” Arthur explained.

“I have to admit he has a point.”

“Gwaine did suggest a couple of boy names. He suggested Liam or Noel. I suggested he stop trying to name our son after a member of Oasis.”

Merlin chuckled.

“Have you picked out any names for your baby?” Arthur grimaced as soon as the words were out of his mouth. Merlin flinched and exhaled slowly. “I’m sorry.”

Merlin held up his hand. “It’s an understandable mistake. Sometimes…” He shook his head. “Never mind.”

Arthur tried to make eye contact with Merlin but he refused to cooperate. “Merlin, what is it?”

Merlin rubbed his eyes. He got up and let out a long yawn. “I need to go home.” He began to walk away, but his legs wobbled.

Arthur gripped his arm. “You’re too tired. Just rest here and you can leave in a few hours.”

Merlin didn’t resist as he yawned again.

While the couch was large, Arthur didn’t like the idea of Merlin sleeping on it. He led Merlin to the guest bedroom next to the main bedroom. Merlin staggered toward the bed and fell backwards onto it within seconds. Arthur took Merlin’s shoes off. He tried to wake Merlin, to get him under the covers, but he only mumbled and didn’t move.

Arthur went to the hall closet and got a blanket to cover Merlin. He gazed down at the sleeping man as he slept, and thought about how peaceful and beautiful Merlin looked. His fingers itched to sweep away the fringe on his forehead. He began to reach out, but just as he was about to touch Merlin, he thought better of it. As he began to pull to pull his hand back, Merlin reached out and clutched it to his chest. 

Merlin opened his eyes slowly and looked up at Arthur blearily. “I keep having this dream,” Merlin started. 

Arthur gently sat down next to him.

“The baby’s born and I get to hold it.” Merlin smiled broadly. “I can’t really make out what it looks like, except for its eyes. They’re blue. They’re the same as mine. And it looks up at me, and it knows me! It’s-it’s my baby.” Merlin muttered the last two words. His eyes drifted shut.

A knot formed in Arthur’s stomach. He knew that Merlin was struggling with the pregnancy, but he didn’t know that it was this bad. He stroked Merlin’s forehead. It hurt to think there was nothing he could do to ease Merlin’s pain. He vowed to make an effort to get Merlin through this.

 

~*~

 

“I want to punch every American in the world!” Arthur grunted before Merlin had even opened the door fully.

Merlin laughed airily. “That’s quite a greeting.”

Arthur barreled past him. “Don’t even bother asking me to sit because every time I sit down my son thinks it’s an appropriate time to use my stomach as his personal football. I suppose I should be happy that I have a potential footie player on my hands. But I can’t...take...the kicking...anymore! And those stupid American movies and television programs with its ‘Oh, the baby’s kicking! How marvelous!’ That is horseshit!”

Slowly Merlin came forward as he tried to stop laughing. “Arthur as much as I love your rants, I asked you over for dinner, so could you please calm down and sit-” Merlin recoiled as Arthur started to cry. He walked over and began to wipe at Arthur’s tears. “Oh, God Arthur! I wasn’t yelling at you.”

Arthur pushed Merlin’s hands away and wiped at his own tears roughly with the sleeve of his jacket. “I’m not crying because I thought you were yelling at me. I’m not a girl, Merlin!” He gestured to his chest. “Though you wouldn’t be able to tell from the breasts I’m growing. There’s yellow fluid coming out of my nipples and…” He trailed off and put his head in his hands. “Gwaine and I are over.” He mumbled into his hands.

Merlin took a hesitant step forward. “What did you say?”

Arthur peered up at him. “Gwaine and I broke up.”

In an instant, Merlin was by his side. Arthur felt his knees start to buckle and Merlin led Arthur to sit down at his kitchen table. Arthur panted and tried to catch his breath. Merlin got him a glass of water. 

“Arthur,” Merlin whispered. “What happened?”

Arthur clutched the glass in his hands. “Gwaine came home from his latest trip - supposedly his last trip. But he soon told me that he wanted to take another job. It would start two days before my due date and he still wanted to go.”

Merlin waited patiently as Arthur paused and took a slow sip of water.

“I told him that he couldn’t do it. He said it would be going to Ireland and that he could be with his family and he wanted me to come with him. But I can’t fly and I couldn’t take a long road trip. I accused him of not wanting to be there for the birth of our son.” His voice trembled. Arthur stopped and drew slowly against the condensation on the glass.

“He refused?” Merlin asked, with sympathy in his voice.

Arthur shook his head. “No. He agreed to stay.” Arthur’s face crumpled again. “But the look on his face...I knew that he didn’t really want to be here anymore.” Arthur moved the glass aside and rested his head against the cool surface of the wooden table. 

Merlin rested a hand against Arthur’s head and gently ran his fingers through his hair.

That calmed Arthur down and he lifted his head slightly and rested it against his hands. “As much as I want my child to have two loving parents at home, that can’t happen with me and Gwaine. If he stayed he would always be unhappy. He may fake it. That is Gwaine is very good at. He’ll grin and bear it if it means sparing someone’s feelings. But he can’t live like that and I can’t either. So I told him to go.”

“Arthur, I’m so sorry.” He still had his hand in Arthur’s hair and he stroked the back of Arthur’s head.

Arthur looked into Merlin’s wide blue eyes and a tear escaped from Arthur’s eye. “Gwaine will always be there for our son. I know that. But it’ll be as if he’s one of those dads, who are really more like an Uncle that stops by with charm and presents. And he will love him. But he won’t be there every day. That’s on me now. I’m two weeks from giving birth and I’m alone.”

“Hey.” Merlin gripped Arthur’s face in his hands. “That’s not true. You have your father and you...have me. If that makes you feel any better?” 

Arthur’s heart leaped into his throat as he Merlin smiled hesitantly at him. Arthur sighed and placed his hand over Merlin’s. “It does.”

 

~*~

 

Arthur cringed. He was sure this was the worst thing he’d ever seen. Freya had chosen to save the birthing video for the last class, probably so many didn’t flee the class never to return. No one had yet left the room or vomited, but several men and women looked like they might faint at any moment.

Arthur had to look away when there was a shot of the baby crowning. He looked next to him and saw Merlin stoically watch the film. He was by himself again. This was the third class that Lancelot and Gwen had missed.

After the film was finished, Freya went over some tips for what to do when you first bring your baby home. Arthur looked over in time to see Merlin struggle to get up. Finally Merlin hauled himself up and stalked out of the room.

Arthur got up as quickly as possible and followed him outside. Merlin was bent over as far as he could go, with his hand on his knees. He briefly glanced up at Arthur. 

“Before when I couldn’t breathe, I would put my head between my knees and it would help. But I can’t do that now because of this bloody belly!” He stood upright and began to pace. “Lance and Gwen should be here. This isn’t my baby. This isn’t for me. I don’t want to be here anymore. I don’t want to be doing this anymore.” He stopped pacing and leaned back against the brick wall of the building. “I keep telling myself that I just have two more weeks and then this will be over, but…” He sniffled. “It doesn’t make me feel any better.” He slid down the wall. 

Arthur sat down next to him and didn’t hesitate to place his arm around Merlin. He didn’t say anything - knew that Merlin just needed to get this all out finally. When Merlin looked at Arthur, his expression was so lost and forlorn, Arthur’s heart broke a little and he held onto Merlin tighter.

“I’m not crazy, Arthur. I know - I _know_ \- in my head that this isn’t my baby. But in here…” He placed his hand against his heart and looked up at the sky and shook his head. “I love this baby so much.”

Arthur tilted his head to the side as he gazed at Merlin. “Of course you do.” He said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “You wouldn’t be you if that weren’t the case.”

“I know I don’t know the sex of the baby yet. But I feel like I know it and the baby knows me, too. I’m the one who it’s connected to. I’m the one who feels it growing every day. But I’m the one who’s going to end up alone after the baby’s born.” Merlin cried. He pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes and let out a shuddery breath.

“You have Lancelot and Gwen.” Arthur countered.

Merlin laughed mirthlessly. “They’ll be busy with the baby.”

“Hey,” Arthur caught Merlin’s attention. “What did you tell me a week ago?”

Merlin shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“You promised you would be there for me after my son was born. Did you mean it?”

Merlin’s head snapped back. He looked as if Arthur had wounded him. “Of course I did.”

“Do you think that I wouldn’t return the favor?” Arthur didn’t wait for a reply. “Merlin, I swear to you that you will never be alone.”

Fat tears slid down Merlin’s cheeks and he buried his head in Arthur’s shoulder.

Arthur looked up when he heard footsteps slap against the concrete and rush up to where Arthur and Merlin sat. He was surprised to see that Lance stood above him.

“Lance!”

Merlin head popped up and he gave Lance a surprised look. “I thought you couldn’t make it.”

“I got someone else to cover my shift.” Lance explained breathlessly. “I couldn’t let both Gwen and I miss the last class. I didn’t want you to be alone.”

Merlin sniffled and wiped his tears. He stared into Arthur’s eyes. “I wasn’t.”

 

~*~

 

As Arthur stared down at the tiny bundle in his arms, he couldn’t remember ever feeling happier. When Merlin walked in the door, Arthur felt his smile widen.

Arthur had gone into labor the previous night. He was already in the operating room before Merlin had arrived. Gwaine had been by his side the entire time. No matter what had happened between them, Arthur had never really doubted that Gwaine would be there when it mattered most. 

Arthur had gotten to see their son after the surgery, but it was another hour before he got to hold him for the first time. He’d been staring at his son for a while before Merlin appeared. Gwaine had just stepped out to call his family.

“Merlin, come and say hello.” Arthur whispered as the baby slept. 

Merlin gingerly waddled over and looked down at the baby. He beamed at Arthur. “Oh, Arthur he’s precious.”

“Would you like to hold him?”

Merlin’s startled blue eyes found Arthur’s and smiled down at the blissful new father. “Are you sure?”

“I think he should get used to you.”

Merlin bit his lip somewhat shyly and nodded. 

Arthur very gently transferred his son into Merlin’s arms. 

Merlin gazed down at the baby. He gasped and looked at Arthur. “He opened his eyes. Oh my God, his eyes are so blue, just like yours. The blonde hair, his blue eyes, and even his mouth - he’s the spitting image of you. He’s beautiful.”

Arthur shifted nervously under Merlin’s steady gaze. He grimaced at the movement. “Would you like to know his name?”

“You picked one? Is it Merlin?” Merlin joked.

Arthur laughed. “Sorry, no.”

“Blimey! Gwen and Lance didn’t go for it either.”

Arthur shook his head and just looked up fondly at Merlin. “Gwaine picked out the baby’s name.”

“It’s not something awful and trendy like iPod or something odd like that?” 

“I’m on some heavy drugs Merlin, but I’m not that high.” Arthur stated. “It’s Ciaran. Ciaran Louis Knight Pendragon.”

“That is quite a mouthful.” Merlin chuckled. “But it’s lovely.”

They both turned when they heard the door open. Gwaine gave both of them a small smile.

Merlin leaned over and gave Arthur back the baby. “I’ll leave you two alone with your son.” He squeezed Arthur’s hand. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you.” Arthur said softly and gripped Merlin’s fingers tightly.

Merlin softly pulled away. He walked over to Gwaine and patted Gwaine’s shoulder in a friendly gesture. “It’s a beautiful name and he’s a very handsome boy, even though he doesn’t have your head of hair.”

Gwaine chuckled. “You can’t win ‘em all. But thank you.” 

Merlin started to walk past him. 

“Merlin.” Gwaine called after him.

Merlin twisted around at the door.

“Thank you for looking out for him.” Gwaine nodded his head in Arthur’s direction.

Merlin briefly glanced at Arthur. “It’s my pleasure.”

 

~*~

 

A week later, Arthur was back in the hospital. This time he was there for Merlin who had just gone into labor. Arthur waited in the hall just outside Merlin’s room. He understood that it was Gwen and Lance’s place by Merlin’s side right now. Though it was torture to wait outside and feel like he wasn’t a part of this. 

Gwen would be in the operating room with Merlin and Lance observing from a gallery above. Arthur considered asking if he could wait with Lancelot but didn’t think that would be appropriate. He looked in once again through the small window to Merlin’s room. Gwen caught his eye. She smiled at him.

A few seconds later Gwen came out to greet Arthur and give him an update. 

Arthur sighed with relief when she told him Merlin was doing okay. He had no reason to think otherwise, but was relieved just the same.

“I wouldn’t go in there just now, unless you want to see them placing the catheter in.” Gwen said with a big smile.

Arthur held up his hands. “No, that’s alright. I’ll wait. But is it alright if I have a moment alone with him before the surgery?”

Gwen nodded and quickly slid her hand down his arm. “Of course.”

After a few minutes, Arthur was allowed inside. Merlin greeted him with a dopey smile. “I like drugs.”

Arthur snickered. “I remember that feeling.”

Merlin raised his hand and beckoned Arthur to come forward. “May I tell you something?”

Arthur nodded. 

Merlin smiled big, but then his smile faltered. “I’m a little,” he swallowed nervously. “I’m a little scared.”

Arthur responded by kissing Merlin’s forehead. He pulled back slowly, their foreheads rested against each other. “You’re going to be fine.”

Merlin’s eyes flitted up to look into Arthur’s. “Do you think it’s possible to fall in love with someone after just three months?”

Arthur licked his lips. “I don’t know. I’m not the right person to ask. I think I’ve been in love with you since that first night.”

Merlin’s breath hitched and he laughed lightly. 

A nurse came in to take Merlin into the operating room. Arthur closed the distance between them and gave Merlin a far too brief, but very soft and tender kiss. “I’ll be here when you get back.”

Merlin nodded and smiled up at him. His eyes never left Arthur’s until he was wheeled out of sight.

 

~*~

 

Arthur was true to his words. He was there when Merlin was wheeled into the recovery room. He was there when Lance and Gwen introduced him to their beautiful baby boy who, while it wasn’t quite as lustrous as Lancelot’s, did have a full head of dark brown hair. He was there when Merlin woke up and got a chance to hold the baby for the first time.

Merlin cried, but the smile on his face was so luminous, Arthur felt tears spring to his eyes. Merlin had no trouble when it came time to hand the baby back to Lance. Merlin watched Lance and Gwen with their baby and he looked like such a weight had been lifted from him. He looked up at Arthur serenely. “This is how it’s supposed to be. Look at them. I couldn’t two people to be parents. I think I forgot why I was doing this.”

“You did that.” Arthur said proudly. “You’re always going to be a part of that baby’s life, Merlin. And someday you’ll have kids of your own.”

Merlin beamed up at Arthur.

Lance strode over and kissed Merlin soundly on the mouth.

“Lancelot!” Merlin sputtered. “Gwen is right there.”

“I told him to do it! It was either him or me and I don’t think I’d have been able to stop kissing you.” Gwen laughed as she walked over with her son. “Merlin, what you have given us...I don’t have the words to thank you.”

“If you want to thank me perhaps you could reconsider the whole naming him after me business.” Merlin raised his eyebrows expectantly.

Gwen and Lance exchanged a look.

Merlin sat up and immediately winced. “Are you going to name him Merlin?”

“Not quite.” Lance replied.

Both Arthur and Merlin furrowed their brows.

“We have chosen a name.” Gwen smiled. “It’s Samuel Emrys Du Lac.”

Merlin smiled as Arthur clutched his shoulder. His eyes filled with tears again “That’s wonderful. Thank you.”

Arthur sat down on the chair beside Merlin’s bed. “I couldn’t think of anything better.”

Merlin wiped his eyes and sniffled. “I swear whenever you want me to baby-sit, I will be there.”

Lance chuckled. “I’m going to assume that’s the drugs talking but we’re certainly going to take you up on that.”

Gwen stepped towards Merlin’s bed and placed Samuel in Merlin’s arms again. The baby opened his eyes and looked up at Merlin. Merlin caressed his tiny head.

Arthur got out his phone and took a picture.

Gwen had her arms around Lance and discretely wiped at her tears. “So, when you two have a baby who will be the one to carry the baby?”

Merlin blushed and glared at his friend. 

Arthur just laughed softly. 

“Guinevere, we haven’t even been on an official date and you have us married?” Merlin scoffed.

“I repeat the question,” Gwen ignored Merlin’s rebuke. “Who’s carrying the next baby?”

Merlin and Arthur pointed at each other. 

“He will.”

“He will.”

Gwen and Lance laughed.

“Rock, paper, scissors.” Merlin suggested.

“Merlin, we’re not going to leave something so important to such a trivial game.”

“Flip a coin.”

“Alright.”

Gwen shook her head as she took Samuel back. “Yes, you two aren’t getting married.” She said sarcastically.

Arthur bit his lip and grinned at Merlin.

Merlin stroked Arthur’s cheek gently before he turned his attention to the new family.

Arthur sighed deeply. He was so grateful that Merlin was on the other side of this now and could finally be happy and appreciate what he’d done. Despite the way they joked before, Arthur was sure that if - okay, when - he and Merlin eventually married, Merlin would gladly carry the baby. He enjoyed the process a lot more than Arthur did and Arthur wouldn’t want to deny Merlin the opportunity to experience of bonding with their child.

Their child. 

The thought made Arthur feel giddy. Perhaps they were all jumping the gun a tad, but Arthur didn’t care. As Arthur picked up Merlin’s hand and kissed it he thought whenever the day came wouldn’t be soon enough for him.


End file.
